Caleb,
You truly are my superhero. You have been through more than most of us will ever go through our entire lives and you have handled it like a real life superhero! As your journey begins today I want you to know that I love you so much and I promise you, no matter what I have to do I will be with you every step of this journey and every step of all the great things I know you will do when this journey is done! You’ve never let anything hold you back and I know even this challenge won’t slow you down!
There really are no words to describe the feeling I have right now as I sit here waiting for you to finish your first radiation treatment. I would give anything to take away everything you have already been through and all the things that await. I wish I could say I wasn’t sitting here asking why this is happening, why would an innocent perfect boy like you have to go through all of this, why couldn’t it have been me……even though we will never have answers to those questions, I want you to know that I am SO PROUD of you. I’m proud of how you have handled every second of all this since that moment on August 30, I’m proud of how no matter what you are going through you want to include Tyler in everything (always looking for something blue for Tyyyyllur), I’m proud of who you are right now, I am proud of the affect you have had on so many people in just 3 short years, and I can’t wait to watch who you will become and all the great things you will do. You have always broken every mold and I know you are going to break the statistical molds of this terrible disease.
I want you to know that I cherish every moment we have together on this Earth and I will NEVER, EVER take a single second for granted to the moment I take my last breath. So many people say, time flies when your kids are young so enjoy it, well I promise you that even if time flies I will not just enjoy it I will cherish it, I will help you through the good ones and hold your hand through the hard ones and I will remember every word and every second. Over the past four weeks as we have moved from the ER, to the Helicopter, to the Hospital, to the OR, to recovery, to your hospital room, to your diagnosis, to St. Jude, to Memphis, to helping you through 2 weeks of assessement and finally to this moment, I thought I had prepared myself for your journey, wondered how you would feel, wondered how we will ever get through this, but in an instant you took care of all of those thoughts by looking up at me while they pushed the medicine smiled, laughed that perfect cute little laugh and slowly fell asleep letting us know everything was going to be ok. I might be sitting here a wreck, waiting for the call to come get you, waiting to see your smile again, but no matter what I know you will fight and you will always let us know that everything will be ok.
You are the strongest, smartest, funniest and most resiliant little boy I know and I couldn’t be more proud to be your dad.
Love,
Daddy James
P.S. I finished this post in time to go get your requested chocolate covered donuts and pringles when you woke up!
I couldn’t have said it any better! You can add Christina,Tyler and yourself to the list of brave hero’s. I am more proud of each of you than I can express. Thank you for taking such great care of our superhero. You are all amazing!
James this was beautiful. I always knew you would make a great dad and husband. I agree with Ebbie you all are superheroes.
Wonderful blog. Wish Caleb and your amazing family the very best.
Someone cutting onions in here? James, before we ever met, I knew we would literally have to be friends. Taylor and Christina have a life-long bond and even if we didn’t like each other, I knew we weren’t going to have a choice about whether we would be hanging out or not. It obviously didn’t take long for us to hit it off and within a couple years of meeting, we were in each other’s weddings. I have always appreciated the rounds of golf, attending concerts, finishing a bottle of Captain while playing Tiger Woods on Xbox, talking cars / trucks, planning house projects, and the list goes on and on. Those things have been fun and as I said I have appreciated them, but I think most dudes do those things. Where our friendship stands out though is in the other chats. May it be discussing how to be better husbands, weighing pros and cons of various job offers, bouncing ideas off of each other on how to handle a difficult situation, just plain out venting when needed, contemplating negotiation tactics, and hundreds of other unnoticed conversations we have had. I value those bud. I also value how good you are with your sons and how much they mean to you. I know your letter is to Caleb and right now he is the center of attention, but I also know Tyler is equally as important and I have seen how excited you get telling me stories about him as well. You are a great dad and I love you for that. I also love being Uncle Pinke / Uncle Pee Pee to those two boys, playing hide and go seek with them, and making them laugh. I look forward to having you guys back in Tampa with a healthy, cancer free Caleb.
Had to take a deep breath and walk away for a minute on this one. Oh, and Caleb has excellent choices in food!