TIME

As always, time helps ease pain. The weekend was exactly the time we needed to soak in the news about surgery, contemplate the future, pray about things, and also just have some fun!

We woke up Saturday and went to see Toy Story 4. The boys have been anxiously awaiting this movie, and we all really enjoyed it! It was funny, cute, and emotional as all Toy Story movies are. It was definitely a perfect movie to see as a family, and Grebbie was with us too!

After the movies we went home to do our “letter B” project. As I have mentioned before I am trying to do some “school” with Caleb when I can and Tyler has realized how much fun we are having. He wanted to be part of the “B” activity too. We made “bears on a beach”. We made our “beach” out of vanilla yogurt covered with crushed graham cracker crumbs. Our water was blue frosting. The “beach towels” were little strips of Fruit by the Foot. The “bears” were Teddy Grahams. The “bears” used Lifesaver Gummy’s as tubes to float in the water, and I also bought some cocktail umbrellas. The boys had a great time as we talked about lots of words that start with “B”, and they got a sugar high from all the goodies!

Sunday we woke up thinking we would stay home and have a lazy day at the apartment. We weren’t even awake an hour when we realized that the boys had waaaay too much energy to stay in this small space all day. After giving them some options for activities they decided on bowling at the bowling alley that also has games (2 in one fun for them!). They played games (and so did the adults ha ha!) and we also bowled. It was a nice outing! I am glad we decided to get out of the house!

The boys were so inspired by Toy Story 4, they asked to make their own “forky”. So we went to Walmart to pick up some craft supplies. Did you know Walmart doesn’t sell “sporks”?  So we settled for spoons ha ha! We came home and made our little family of “Forkys”. We actually all had a great time with this project putting our own spin on the character.

Last, but not least, we made dessert. The other day James mentioned something about a brownie and Caleb said “what’s a brownie?” and we gasped in horror ha ha! It had been so long since we made brownies he didn’t even know what they were. So Sunday night we made brownies as a family. Daddy couldn’t resist the chance to get the kids messy, so brownie batter was everywhere!

That brings us to Monday. Tyler was back in summer camp, but today was a little rough for Caleb. He had his PET Scan scheduled for 12:15 BUT, that is only the time we got called back for our appointment. They do a pre-assessment from 12:15-1pm, and then inject the dye for the test. The dye has to be in his system for 45 minutes, and then they put him under anesthesia. He went to sleep at almost 2pm and hadn’t been able to eat ALL morning. We are so lucky that Caleb is such an amazing kid. He rarely complains and just accepts what we tell him. Most of our appointments with anesthesia don’t run that late, but today was rough. He woke up in recovery and was ready to go home about 3:30pm. When we walked into the recovery room he was already eating a pack of Oreos and drinking orange juice. We also had a full lunchbox of snacks that he packed for himself this morning, and he ate a pack of fruit snacks and a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch before we even left the recovery room. When we got home he ate Cheez-its, noodles, chicken, pizza, an orange and 2 pieces of bread. He ate all night until he went to bed ha ha! We think it’s funny that he makes up for lost time. He couldn’t eat this morning so he ate twice as much tonight.

Tomorrow we have a blood draw to check his counts and make sure he is cleared for Wednesday’s surgery, and we will also get the results of today’s PET scan. We are very nervous to hear what they found, but, what is there is there and what will be will be. We can’t change anything. We can only educate ourselves and come up with the treatment plan necessary for Caleb. Of course selfishly we are hoping there won’t be any more treatment so we can go home as planned. However I am nervous about what we might be facing. Even though the situation stinks, we would move to the ends of the Earth and do anything for Caleb to make sure he’s ok.

This news was hard to hear at the moment we thought we were ready to go home. Now they are doing more tests when we thought we would be finished. But as I have had a few days to process the news the hardest thing to get past is the fact that this cycle may never end. For every Cancer parent (and patient) there is a fear of a constant life long battle. A fear of relapse. A fear that the next scan will bring devastating news. I just want to bring our family home to live in our house, start school in the Fall, and all the things that should be so normal and easy. Except for some reason, because of what has been handed to us, that task isn’t so simple. The summer is definitely the hardest season to be away. We love to spend summers in the pool and playing outside. “Normal” families are going on summer vacations and enjoying the long days. I just want normal life so bad! The news we will get tomorrow and Wednesday are going to give us a glimpse into the next weeks to months of our lives. I am nervous and could see the results going either way. I have no expectations. I really don’t know what to think. I’ve just been praying that whatever our family is supposed to go through, and whatever lesson we are supposed to learn is almost over. Is God doing this to teach us to appreciate each other? To be more grateful for one another and the time we have together? To teach us that material possessions don’t matter? We know, and we’ve learned it, and we’ll never forget what we’ve learned here. But I guess I’ll never fully understand why all of this has happened. All I know is family is the most important thing in the world. The next couple of days will be challenging to get through, but we will get through them together, and with our extended family of support. We love you all and promise to update everyone as soon as we know more.